Unschooling vs Homeschooling - Differences

When someone asks where my children go to school and I say they don’t, the usual reply is, “Ah, you homeschool!” I then answer, “No, we unschool.” The next question is always, “What’s the difference?”

This article explores the spectrum of home-based education, from strict homeschooling to radical unschooling, and everything in between. It clarifies why the term “homeschooling” can be misleading and how a variety of methods all fall under the umbrella of not sending children to a traditional school.

The Structured End: Strict Homeschooling

At one end of the spectrum is a method that closely mimics a traditional school environment. This approach is often called strict homeschooling or "school-at-home." Parents who choose this path often follow a set curriculum, use textbooks, and adhere to a strict daily schedule. The parent acts as the teacher and authority figure, and the learning objectives are predetermined, much like in a classroom. The goal is to provide a structured, comprehensive education that may be more flexible or personalized than a public school, but still follows a conventional academic model.

Most people think this is what homeschooling is—recreating school at home, making children follow the school’s curriculum, and teaching them the “important stuff” they would be learning in school. Interestingly, only one of the major dictionary definitions specifies this. While Merriam-Webster defines "homeschool" as a verb, meaning "to teach school subjects to one's children at home," the others are more general.

Dictionary.com: "the practice of teaching one's own children at home, instead of sending them to school."

Collins English Dictionary: "the practice of teaching one's own children at home."

Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary: "the practice of educating children at home, not in schools."

These broader definitions could also describe unschooling, as it also means not sending your child to school and teaching them at home, just in a different way.

The Unstructured End: Radical Unschooling

At the opposite end of the spectrum is radical unschooling. It’s based on the idea that children are naturally curious and learn best when they are given complete freedom to pursue their interests. In this model, the child has 100% decision-making power over their own life and learning. There is no curriculum, no tests, and no scheduled lessons. Instead, learning is a natural byproduct of living. A child interested in dinosaurs might read books, watch documentaries, and visit museums. The parent's role is not to teach but to facilitate the child's learning by providing resources and opportunities. Things like screen usage and food choices are also free to decide for radically unschooled children, trusting that they will learn to self-regulate.

The Middle Ground: A Continuum of Choices

The reality for most families is that their approach falls somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. Many parents blend elements from both ends to create a hybrid model that works for their family's needs. This is where the true beauty of homeschooling lies—in its adaptability. A family might use a structured curriculum for math but allow for child-led exploration in science. Another family might have a more flexible schedule, with dedicated learning blocks that can be adjusted based on the child’s interests and energy levels.

The core idea is that both strict homeschooling and radical unschooling are two ends of a spectrum, united by a single concept: education that takes place outside of a traditional school setting. While the methods vary from highly structured to entirely free, a shared foundation is the parent’s decision to personally guide their child’s learning journey.

Our family's approach is rooted in self-directed learning, where our children are given complete autonomy over what and how they learn. Our role is to provide unwavering support and resources. This philosophy extends to fostering responsibility; we believe in the power of natural consequences to teach invaluable life lessons. To that end, our children are responsible for managing their own spaces and belongings, from making their beds to tidying their clothes.

We maintain a structured approach to technology. Our children are granted screen time for video games and streaming services only on Friday evenings and Sunday mornings, with social media usage remaining strictly prohibited. During the week, screens are reserved for educational purposes such as research, learning, and staying connected with friends and family around the world. By implementing these boundaries, we teach them to use technology as a purposeful tool for growth, rather than being passively controlled by it.

Variety empowers

Just as every child is unique, so too is every home-education journey. There are as many ways to home-educate as there are families undertaking it. Even within the same family, siblings—raised under the same roof—can have vastly different personalities, learning styles, and interests. Our own daughters are a perfect example of this.

This is the very essence of home-education's greatest strength: it provides an unparalleled opportunity to truly know your children. Outside of a traditional school setting, parents and children have the freedom to build a learning environment that is perfectly attuned to the child's individual needs and curiosities. A family’s approach also evolves over time, as parents learn alongside their children. We have personally explored various methods, including periods of radical unschooling, to find a balance that works for our family.

By observing our children's innate drive to learn, we can help them navigate their educational path, fostering a love of knowledge that is deeply personal and sustainable. This custom-tailored approach moves beyond a standardized curriculum, empowering them to become confident, lifelong learners.

This approach also extends to how we manage technology. When my almost nine-year-old daughter asks for a smartphone like her friends, my answer is simply, "I don't know yet." The decision will be made when she is ready to handle the responsibility. Until then, I am committed to giving her the kind of 90s-style childhood that cannot be replicated later in life. We believe that technology will be easy for her to adapt to and master when the time is right, even if she did not grow up immersed in it.