2. Your Boundaries Toward Your Child

Saying “No” with calm confidence—and following through—helps your child learn that real boundaries don’t shift just because someone whines or begs.

Why this matters:
If a child learns that persistence breaks a boundary, they might apply that lesson dangerously later. Imagine your daughter, now a teen, at a party where her friend pressures her to try drugs, manipulating her with a ‘If you’re really my best friend, we’ll do it together’. If she’s learned that “No” means “keep asking,” she might cave—because that’s what worked before.

That image stayed with me since I read it in a book years ago. From then on, I took  “Can I have a lolly?” as a chance to model consistency and respect.

But this isn’t about saying No to everything. It’s about:

• Pausing before answering to reflect and avoid an automatic Yes or No that you want to change right after you said it. Even though there’s nothing wrong about changing your mind, an assertive answer that you’ll stick avoids conflict
  

• Trusting your intuition
  

• Sticking to your decision once made
  

• Letting your child have the emotional reaction without trying to fix it