4. Let Others Set Boundaries With Your Child

Don’t jump in every time your child does something that might annoy someone. You're not a mind reader—and often, no one is actually bothered!

Instead:

• Step back and observe

• Let the other person speak up if they need to

• Allow your child to take responsibility for their actions
  

This saves your energy, empowers your child, and keeps you from becoming the constant authority figure. Every time you say “No” unnecessarily, you own the consequence. Let life do the teaching when it can.

🌪 Examples to Keep in Mind

• Danger:
  If a stranger invites your daughter to go somewhere and something feels off, you step in. That’s your job. But if a trusted family friend invites her to the park, you let her choose if it’s aligned with your plans.
  
  

• Intuition:
  If your teen wants to go to a party and something doesn’t sit right with you, honor that. Maybe you offer to drive her, or say no and explain your reasons.
  You can’t control the world, but you can trust your gut—and teach her to trust hers, too.
  
  

• Honesty in Play:
  When your daughter asks you to play with her, be honest:

• ‘No, I don’t feel like playing anything right now. Thanks’

• ‘I’m just in the middle of X but I can play in Y minutes/later.’

• ‘Yes. What would you like to play?’ If she wants to play something you absolutely don’t enjoy then be honest: ‘When we play it has to be fun for all of us and I don’t enjoy playing X. Would you like to play Y with me?’ Then just converse with her until you find something that both of you like to play and play until either one of you has had enough.

• ‘Yes. I have X minutes. Let’s go!’
  

Being real is not rejection. It’s relational truth—and that builds trust.

💬 Try This

When your child asks for something:

1. Pause. Ask yourself: Is this a boundary I want to set?
   

2. If so, set your boundary calmly and clearly. Repeat kindly but assertively as often as need be.
   

3. Let them feel their feelings when they don’t like your answer. Don’t rush in to fix it.
   

4. Stick to your decision. Don’t explain or argue. Just be present.

And remember: You don’t need to make them like your boundary. You just need to hold it with love and presence.

🧘‍♀️ Reflection Questions

You might want to use a piece of paper to answer these questions:

• Do I respect my own boundaries—or do I tend to override them for others?
  

• How do I feel when someone pushes my boundaries?
  

• When my child says “No,” do I actually listen—or override?
  

• Do I try to avoid embarrassment by controlling my child’s behavior in front of others?
  

• What would shift if I trusted my child—and myself—more?
  
  

❤️ Final Thoughts

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you harsh—it makes you trustworthy.

Respecting your child’s boundaries doesn’t make you permissive—it makes both of you safe.

And when boundaries are rooted in truth instead of fear, they become an invitation:

This is where I end and you begin. Let’s meet each other there—honestly.